Back to me

I don't know what to write, I just feel like blogging today. My Sundae went to Lopez (Quezon Province, our hometown, Canda Ibaba in particular) 2 days ago. Yes life is easy without her, I don't have to wake up in the evening to check on her, no need to wake up early to prepare her food before I start my routine to work. BUT, going home without her, her smile, talks, her face, everything about her, feels so blue.

Two days without her is like a year long. She'll be back on the 19th, 8 days is like a decade. =(

I shine!

There are times I'm strong, patient, understanding, often times I get angry. I can say words you not want to hear and acts you may not want to see. Not all times in my life I know how to control my anger, at times I got mad, I'm insensitive, I will say and act everything I want to. And later realize how stupid my act was.

And then, it would lead me to say sorry for what I've done. It's so stupid but at least I let go of everything I kept and it makes me feel well. I hope you too, understand me when I'm at this mood. Please extend your patient.

Smile though ...

really not having a good time.

in trouble..terribly..

I can still smile, but, behind the smile is a crying me. But I'm strong, nobody would hear me cry, writing how I feel is enough to burst this. I can tolerate pain, to the highest level. haha!

Whoever can read this, don't worry, I'm still fine. I have GOD with me, HE will never, ever let me down. I just need to extend my patience...long..long..long..immeasurable, as it can.

Just keep it

There are some things that should not be shared to avoid issues. I' rather keep it myself than to hurt my love ones. I don't believe in what others said that you must not keep a secret so you would live a harmonious life and relation. There are words, especially from your past, that are better left unsaid. Past is called past so it must not be carried or talked in present. It must only serve as lesson or experience.

Things from the past may hurt, and if you really love them, you must avoid hurting them. Just live in the present and just keep your secret from the past. What is most important is you must be honest with them now, starting the day you commit your life to him.

Confidence is Coming Back

After losing my confidence while I'm pregnant; you know feeling ugly, bloated feet and everything that may happen to you while on the way, I'm beginning to regain the it again. Although some marks are still in my body, I don't care, the baby that made it is so cute and I can forget the marks every time I see my lovely Sundae.

I'm still on the process of losing my weight, but I can now wear some of my clothes that was stocked due to my pregnancy. Losing my weight is not a new challenge for me, I tried it before and I made it. I know I can do it again, it's not easy, though, but I can succeed on it. I won't stop until I finally regain my old shape.

Join me in my journey to weight loss.

Living Away from My Sundae

Few days from now, on July 2 to be exact, I will send my Sundae to Quezon. She will stay with my Tatay and Nanay and will be back here with me in time she needs to visit her pedia. Although she was first checked up by Dra. Caña in Lopez before we come back here. I just don't want to transfer to another pedia. I'm fond of sending Sundae to Dra. Sandoval in World Citi Hospital. =)

Every time I think that Sundae will no longer be at my side when I'm sleeping and she will not be there when I'm going home, it really breaks my hurt and makes me cry until I fall asleep. =( She has to go with my Nanay since her dad and I can't attend to her. They have to go to Quezon because my youngest sister Angie is already working in Lucena and nobody would attend to my Tatay's needs especially this time, he has to worked in the farm.

It's really hard for me but I can't do anything, I have to work for her needs since Dang is still waiting for his cousin to report in the agency so he can start working, as a seaman. His contract in Eastwood ends last month. He can't attend to Sundae alone because she has lots of tantrums and only my Nanay can control her.hehe..even I can't stop her, so sad but that's the fact, although I breastfeed.

Anyways, I hope I have the strength to live away from my Sundae, in Gods grace.

Before and After

Photo on your left was taken 3 years ago while the one on right was just taken recently. A big difference in my shape huh? How I miss that. I wonder if I can get it back, I wish..I can lessen the foods I ate but I don't have time to exercise. It's also 3 years ago when I stop my outdoor activities. Before, I'm a member of a dragon boat team and a mountaineer. Today, I'm a full time employee and a part time mom. I spend the rest of my time with my daughter instead of having exercise. I don't regret having a daughter, I only regret the days when I forgot to control my appetite.hehe..

Hindi ako natutuwa kapag may nahuhuling drug pusher...

    ...kasi hindi sila ang dapat na hinuhuli kundi yong mismong kinukunan nila. Ok nahuli nga sila, yon bang pinagkukunan nila titigil na dahil nahuli yong tulak nya? Di ba hindi, kundi kukuha sya ng bagong tulak at yun tuloy ang operasyon.

Itong mga magigiting nating pulis ay tuwang tuwa na makahuli ng mga "malalaking pusher" na kung tutuusin eh tungaw lang naman dahil ang "malaki" talaga ay ang drug lord, tama ba? Bakit kaya hindi nila hulihin ang mga drug lord na to at hindi yung mga pusher. Kung walang drug lord, walang pusher, tama ba?

Sana lang next time naman na makanood ako ng news eh drug lord naman ang ibalitang nahuli nila at hindi lang pusher. Tungaw lang po ang pusher at hindi sila malaking isda gaya ng sinasabi ng otoridad. Sana magising na sila sa katotohanan. Wag yang mga pusher at pag-initan nyo.

Letter to God

Dear Lord,

Thank you so much for the blessing that you gave us today. You are really GOOD! You give everything we need just in time. Thank you for the work you gave to Dang I know you are starting to gave us everything we need since we are away from our Daddy, Tatay, Mommy and Nanay. We do not have someone to turn to but YOU and you never fail us everytime we call on YOU.

We have trials that make us strong. And sorry if sometimes we are becoming weak and we sometimes lost hope. But despite of losing hope we still manage to call for YOUR name. Thanks for making us strong.

I LOVE YOU

Yours forever,

Dang and Ching

a new gift

may 22, 2010

i had my preg test and this is it, again! we have a new baby, a new gift. i promise i would take really good care of her/him. i'm 6 weeks and 3days pregnant.

i visited my OB yesterday and she's asking for some tests, like cbc, urinalysis, VDRL (for venereal disease) HBSAg ( i forgot what this test's for) 100g OGTT (for diabetes) and of course TVS, prescribe some vitamins, then she gave me mommy diary.

may GOD bless me in my journey as a new mother..

wala lang..opinion ko lang

bakit ganun ang mga kabataan ngayon, anyways di pa rin naman ako ganon katanda, bakit nila naiisipang lumayas sa mga piling ng kanilang mga magulang..hindi ba nila naappreciate ang sarap mabuhay na kasama ang nanay at tatay?at this age, 26 lang naman po ako, newly wed at sobrang sabik parin ako na makasama ko ang parents ko, halos ayaw ko pa rin umalis sa bahay namen after ng wedding, gusto ko pa rin na si nanay ang katabi ko pagtulog, but i have no choice dahil pinili ko ang mag-asawa..pero bakit itong mga batang to unting di lang mapagbigyan ng parents nila sa gusto nila eh maglalayas..ganyan na sila katigas at katapang ngayon?

after i graduated in high school, i went to manila to continue my college, it was really hard for me to adjust dahil nasanay ako na paggising ko my mother was there preparing anything and everything i need, so hard for me to live my life away from her, nobody was there for me to prepare my clothes, although kasama ko ang mga brothers ko sa house but they have their own business, they are both working. only my aunt was there to guide us, pero sobrang iba ang kasama ang nanay..

until now ang layo ko sa nanay ko, every holidays ko lang sya nakakasama at tawag lang ang communication namin, that's why i make sure na i always tell and make her feel that i love her so much.

kaya i was wondering bakit may mga batang nakatikim lang ng onting pera galing sa pinagtrabahuhan nila eh akala mo kaya na nilang mabuhay, hindi ganon kadali mabuhay ng wala ang nanay mo sa tabi mo..lalo na sa mga time na sobrang depress ka..sa time na walang ibang makakaintindi sayo kung hindi sya lang..hindi dahil may trabaho ka na at may boyfriend ka, mabubuhay ka na..isipin mo ang sarap ng kasama ang nanay mo, nakahanda ang damit na kelangan mo, ang pagkain mo, ang tengang makikinig kapag may problema ka..

malaki ka na nga pero immature ka..hindi ganun kasimple ang buhay..